Do You Make These 9 Mistakes In Conversation?
The way we communicate with others is a habit. Therefore, we often do not know whether the pattern of conversation we are doing is good or not good.
In everyday life you must have often said to myself: "ah uncomfortable chatting with A, the more comfortable I am looking for the B and talk to her."
I do not know your own entry in a category where: Person A or Person B, hopefully not the A because the A usually always shunned by his friends.
If only you fall into the category of A, you do not need to worry because the pattern of conversation unfavorable course can be improved. Below are a few common mistakes made by people in the conversation and some solutions to fix it.
1. Do not Listen
Most people are not good listeners tipekal. This of course relates to their high ego, who actually wants to be heard rather than listening. In every conversation they did not hold waiting to speak.
Learn to suppress your ego to listen seriously to what others say.
When you take the attitude to start listening, you're paving the way for the creation of a relationship (of any kind) with huge potential. But still avoid the short answer "yes" or "no", because if you like the other person will provide information to your half. Enthusiastic to the topic they are talking about, for example, if the other person you were telling us about his experience climbing the mountain at the end of last week, you can ask him:
what do you climb a mountain?
what is love of mountain climbing?
What are you doing on the mountain?
Such questions would make the topic of conversation becomes more profound, more attractive, as well as fishing more topics for discussion. And last but not least the other person you know that you are really listening to him. This of course will create a high level of respect the other person you grow on you.
2. Too Much inquiry
Some questions may mean you excited about the other person, but too much to ask then becomes not good because it looks like you're menginterogerasi other person, and can make them uncomfortable.
Try to combine between a statement and a question, for example:
I was last week with a fishing weekend with friends of my work. Do you like fishing?
3. Running out of topics To Talk
In conversation you may often feel run out of topics to talk about with the other person, especially if you are talking to someone you just know. To prevent this from happening, there are a few suggestions on topics that you can talk about:
A wise man once said, "Do not leave home without reading the newspapers first. If you run out of topics to talk about, you can start talking about the news that are hot at the moment. "
Talk about something that is around you. Probably about the aquarium that are behind you, children who were playing next to you, or any course that makes it possible to talk about around you.
4. Submission of the recent
One of the most important things in a conversation is not what you say but how you say it. Changes in this habit will make a big difference, because the voice and body language is a very vital part in the conversation. Some of the following ideas to consider:
Convey slowly. When you talk about something that is very pleasant, easy for you to start the conversation and even you can talk very quickly. You try to slow down the speed of your speech, because it will be easier for you to listen to the other person and captures the points you want to convey.
Speak in a loud voice. No need to hesitate, because the other person you really want to listen to you.
Speak clearly. Do not like mumbling.
Speak with a voice that is not monotonous. Involve emotion in your voice.
Use pauses. Submission slowly coupled with a pause will make the other person more attentive in listening and the atmosphere became more relaxed.
Use good body language. In future articles, I'll discuss how to use good body language.
5. Interrupting
Do you feel if your conversation is cut by the other person? ... Yes, the other person will feel the same way if you cut him off. Let the other person you spend in advance what you want delivered. It is one form of reward you on your speaker. Look for a balance between listening and speaking.
6. Desire "Always Right"
People are not going to impress you if you always want to be right in every conversation. Often the conversation is not really a discussion. Sometimes we want to keep the mood remains good to talk to someone. For example: one of your friends would like to tell you about the thrill of rafting experience to the extent that the rubber boat overturned. But you actually speak to how good rafting. I'm sure your friends will instantly mood changed.
Sit relaxed, talking and did not argue.
7. Talking About Stuff Weird or Negative
Have you ever meet someone and after that he was talking about strange things or negative, such as poor health, a story of murder, boss sucks, or use strange language that only he and his friends who know what it means.
I think there is no benefit to speak things strange or negative like that. People would love to talk to you if you always give a positive energy in every word that you spend.
8. Boring
Do not make long told about your new car you just bought or your home is newly constructed. The average person is not really interested in such stories, too expose the ability to self. Look for topics that lead to things that are passionate or humorous things suppose. You can also tell about your thoughts on yesterday's peak weekend or you plan on coming Lebaran holiday. The bottom line is something positive. Also not complain about your boss or your job.
Dale Carnegie once said:
"In two months you will have more friends by enthusiasm for their stories than 2 years you look for friends by trying to lure them interested in your stories."
Try to give more of a role in talking to your interlocutors. Later you will build a quality relationship.
Maybe you've heard the term "why did God create two ears and one mouth? ... So that we do more listening than talking. :)
9. Not Respond Well
If someone told me about his experience, do not just nod or reply with short sentences. Be open and tell us what you think. Express your feelings.
In closing, you do not have to fix all nine steps above simultaneously. Choose roughly three most important things that you think need to be improved and for 3-4 weeks you try to do it continuously until it becomes a habit.
Hopefully this conversation helpful tips for you so that one day you can be a good interlocutor for friends or your partner.
